Kau nak kahwin kontrak?

Kusut lagi weih!!! This is part of my conversation with my friend (that i used to hangout to play pool once i in Putrajaya 3 years ago).

What happen?

It just myself, my emosi yang tak berapa nak stabil.

Bila nya nak stabil emosi you ni??

Maybe... kawin nanti.

Apa saja la.... kalau kawin, tak emo dah...serius shit?? You ingat lepas kawin nanti hati boleh senang ke you?

Serius shit YES! I tertekan la kat sini. Ada sebab kenapa kena kawin juga!!

Ajak la bf Jawa + kampung you kawin...?

Bila masa i ada bf jawa? Pasal bf i pun you tak ingat. Bf i... mak dia ada pilihan sendiri.

Serius shit you nk kawen?? Come on la syg... Tak kan you nak suruh i ingat jantan you... kalau kawan pompuan you tu reasonable la juga... ni geng2 jantan u.. suppose to be i punya rival.. nak suruh i ingat dorang pasal apa... unless its something about you...

Rival la sangat... patutnya you kawan i, you kenalah ingat serba serbi..

Even though kalau you test me with ssomething about you pun memang i xak ingat... hahaha

Itu la yg i tk nak..

I nak je kawin sekarang... i mean... i nak tutup mulut abah i... kawen is not that grand for me dah sekarang ni... semua total bullshit crap. I tak mahu... I just nak pergi masjid, akad nikah... balik umah bang kaw2... esok pregnant... lusa deliver baby... then only my dad boleh shut up...

I pun ada terpikir macam tu...then we get divorce???

Cerai? Naper nak cerai?? Kalau ok... carry on je lah... but sex has to be phenomenal la...

I just want to keep people's mouth shut. Nak tunjuk.... "at least aku ni laku juga ok??" You mean.. eventhough you dah berbini nanti.. you still nak makan luar?? Dah kata kawin tergesa-gesa... tak mungkin ada cinta you...

Ehh! I laku je... Syg, our parents dulu kawin ada cinta-cinta ke...? Kalau pandai jaga i, tak kan la i nak makan luar syg ooi... give n take la... i pun bukan la gila suka-suka nak sakitkan hati orang... fikirlah juga, if i'm about to cheat on my wife, who'll be carryin my baby... those things la i dok basuh kat geng dat0-dato, vip semua... Dah kawin, buat cara kawin la... My dad rilek je, ok je dengan my mom... hari2 gaduh, balik umah ok je semua...

Itu dulu syg... but now it doesnt count... now you have to go through lots of upside down with your bf/gf, bercinta bagai... barulah kawin...

Kalau you tak nak, i suruh my mom carikan... Jawa ramai juga comel... Bukan nak buat apa pun, kawin, make babies... Aper lagi yang boleh buat pun.. ? Kalaulah boleh beranak dulu, baru kawin.. i rasa anak i dah 5 orang sekarang ni....

You nak i?? You serious ke babe?? I tau you bukan jenis yang serious... ok? You jenis tak puas hidup lah dear... i tau... If that so, you kena kawin dengan jawa yg jauh lagi muda dari i...

Well, true enough tapi macam i cakap tadi lah... nak shut down my dads' mouth... I have to sacrifice lah, nak buat macamana lagi?

Then..? Jawa juga pilihan you?

Dah u ingt i memain...i nk ckp aper.. u think im foolin around when i said i want u...so be it... u nk i watper.. melutut ker aper?? x dpt...

Apsal tak dapat? Kalau u serious, i bagitahu pada my mom sekarang...

Agree with my term n condition ke?? I mean.. u agree dengan my tnc ker syg??

I just understand you nak buat anak banyak-banyak... Itu je...

Tak payah banyak... seorang dulu pun ok dah... banyak-banyak siapa nak jaga?

Tell me your tnc again.... My tnc would be, after 1st baby, we get divorce... ok?

Who got the baby then?

You nak?? You ambil... kalau you tak nak i jaga... ok? But nafkah still on u... im afraid you parent will ask for the baby.

I'm sure they want the baby more than i do, but single parenting can be quite charming you know...

Hahahaha ok... then u take it..

Ok, my tnc

1. no bersanding
2. no all sorts of adat bullshit
3. no photos to be printed
4. no wedding cards
5. no hantaran
6. all will be on each other's expenses...

Gila! Itu i tak setuju, we do a proper wed ceremony. Nanti lagi orang berkata... Kita hidup dalam komuniti melayu kan?

Owh! you want to have only 1 baby with me, then get divorce. But you nak hantaran semua. Nahhh... Wedding reception - house basis, no hotel ballrooms. Wedding card can be change with emails...

I never ask for a grand ceremony, tapi i nak majlis cukup sifat... nanti orang berkata...

You nak semua cukup sifat.. tapi you tak nak sehidup semati dengan i... cukup sifat ker tu? kata contract for 1 baby... lebih kurang sudah...

Sebab i tau camana you punya background.. you kan nak hepi2... n i tak nampak you serious.

I can be happy with you if i want to... but im not sure whether u want to be happy with me, forever or not.

Eehh... ni sape ni?? You ke siapa? Im talking with whom right now?

I nvr said i dun want to settle down. I never said that i dont like you to be with me forever. I just didnt say things. Tapi sendiri mau ingatlah, as i said, agreed with my tnc, next week kita kawin... Well im off to work syg, you think about it ok. u rase im not serious... well im damn serious now....

Kalau i tak bagi jawapan then your mom dah ada pilihan menantu ye??

My mom will proceed after my blessing. There is no short cut here babe, when im off, im off for good, you fikir sendiri and i never said that i dont miss u at all. I just didnt say stuff... you have to get used to it....

Statement apa tu?

Erm, fikir sendiri

Mesti i selalu makan hati dengan you nanti...

Up to you nak makan hati ke jantung ke... syg i'm going now. Bye.

Macamana rasa kahwin kontrak? Aku tak mahu kejar title janda dan menjadi kegilaan suami-suami orang. Tapi hakikatnya saham janda lagi hebat kalau korang nak tahu. Bosanlah cerita pasal kawin. Aku nak senyap. Tahu-tahu je nanti, aku dah ada sepasang anak. Thrill tak?

Memang aku tempah nahas ke apa? Lepas satu kes, jadi satu kes lagi. Patah tumbuh hilang berganti. Memang aku dan dia yang dulu tak dapat restu. Dah tiga jantan lamar aku sebelum ni aku buat bodoh, sudahnya diorang dah selamat kawin. Jadi sebagai alternatif lain, patutkah aku terima terma dan syarat dalam kontrak kahwin ini? Takut pisang berbuah berkali-kali.




Syimalicious: Bila aku nak baca buku ni??!